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Not A Mistake

Updated: Jul 18, 2022

Recently, my hospice task was to go to the home of a son and inform him that his dad passed away the night before. There were a lot of complications leading up to the need of an in person visit, and this visit came during my shift. This person invited me into their home and I sat listening to them as empathetically as I could for quite some time. One of the most painful things he was experiencing was that in his father’s rage during one of their last conversations, he heard these words from his dad: “you are just an f—‘n mistake! Your mother and I had your two sisters, and that’s all we wanted.”

Obviously there are some very deep waters here, and I really don’t know anything about what led to that discussion or to those horrible words, but I am moved deeply by the thought that a father could say such things to their own child. The reality is that there are people in this world who have such hate and anger in themselves that they can say deeply hurtful things, even to people they love. My heart went out to this man as best it could but ultimately, nothing was going to help the fact was that his dad was dead and those are the final words resonating in his mind.

This experience has prompted me to write this post because if I’m honest about this world, there are more people like this man whose father mistreated them in someway. I can’t begin to understand what some fathers have gone through which shaped them into someone so filled with the hate and anger fueling their rage on their own children, but nonetheless, it exists.

I wonder today if you are someone who had a hurtful experience with your dad? Are you that person who when, another talks about God the Father’s great love that it makes you cringe inside and think, “I’ve never had a father’s love, what exactly is that”? Are you a person whose dad abused you, hurt you, said bad words to you, or even called you a huge mistake? For any of you and others who have had a bad experience from your earthly father, my next words are for you:

You are not a mistake.

You are God’s beautiful child, his son or daughter. You are precious to God and he loves you. He knew you in your mother's womb, he knit you together and knows the very number of hairs on your head. You are so important to God, so valued, and so loved. (Please read these scriptures - Jeremiah 31:3, Psalm 139:1-18, 1 John 3:1, 1 John 4:16)

To those of you wrestling with the deep pain your earthly father may have inflicted, you may say those words of mine are easy to say but hard to believe. I so earnestly want you to know today that you are loved by God. There’s nothing you can do that would ever stop God’s love for you, and he has made a way for you to be in relationship with him through Jesus Christ.

I was blessed to have an amazing dad who showed me God’s love and who loved me very well. He left this world all too soon at 48 years old from cancer, but he was an amazing man. I can’t ever fully understand what you feel, but my ability to empathize brings me to tears and brokenness at the hurt and pain you may have.

It is my fervent prayer that all people with this hurt in their lives would come to a place of knowing that God is real and that God loves you. He is a father who will NEVER let you down. Jesus said in the beatitudes, blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. God the great father wants to comfort you, love you, and wants you to feel this comfort and love. You are never alone, you are not a mistake, you are perfect just the way you are. Please go to HIM and experience his love.

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